Word of Great Moments in Beard (patent pending) must be spreading like genital herpes in a fraternity hot tub. Or, more appropriately, evidently, through the Great Gospel of Beard!
What do they preach, you may be asking yourself?
This guy's preaching the universal law of "Making It Clap". He's spinning on the ones and twos, droppin' hits by groups like Cherry Bomb and Whitesnake while sneaking in smoove R&B classics by Keith Sweat, including but not limited to Nobody and Twisted. Guaranteed. And them hot pieces up in that bitch are making it clap. (Don't lie to yourself, you know you liked Twisted. The gentlemen smile, the ladies move their hands slowly but steadily towards the soft divide...)
This gentlemen is the main protagonist of the gospel's spread, marinating in Hollywood's Juice Pit, otherwise known as The Roosevelt Pool.
"Hear me, all ye wart-infested heathens! Welcome to the Juice Pit, replete with the clap, gonorrhea, and of course, my semen, the very own demon spawn of my barely functional loins! Let the festivities commence! Praise Beard! Also, at the end of party, someone needs to give me a lift to the Valley."
Upon hearing the gross extremity, rapid growth in public interest, and starting to believe a little bit of the Gospel of Beard Himself, Jesus came back to make a final statement. He simply said, "I agree. Praise Beard!"
Actually, this isn't the real Jesus. It's just some hobo with a magnificent Beard.
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