Patrick Petitjean has taken Bearded Awesomeness to the next level. For years, his masculine facade has reckoned in a new era in Beard, paving the way for Beard Advancement. He has not only made the Beard socially relevant, but has also opened doors for the facially hirsute, both in society at large and the world of high fashion.
In what is possibly the most pimpish move ever, Patrick is able to take masculinity to the edge, push it over the line, punch it when it's down, piss on it, grab your girlfriend, make out with her, piss on her, make her publicly fellate him, take off her bra, make her wear a flimsy tank top, sit down next to a tree, roll a joint, and make her wait while he smokes it, before getting back on the bike and driving under the influence.
No one is quite sure where Patrick was born, but I am willing to bet my mother on it being the ocean.
When the children of Uganda gave Patrick the necklace they made as an offering to him, he vowed to wear it until Eternity, as clearly he will not ever die, continually gaining powers and youth from the Beard. Patrick, Congratulations on your massive achievements, your continued Awesomeness, your reckless lack of inhibition, and your Lifetime of Great Moments in Beard.
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